One Hell of a Cooler

I've moved...

2008-02-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

The blog, and my book on how to beat 6-max NLHE cash games is now at Skilled Online Poker!

Things are getting crazy...

2008-02-13T00:07:00.000-08:00

I've been super busy getting this ebook finished up and ready for download on the web. The book's been done but the web site's taking a little longer than expected, however, any day now it will be up and ready.

I'm really excited for it. It came out really well and was a fun project to work on.

I've had a super swingy month but am on a sick hot run right now, making about $20k in my last 6k hands, including 15 buy-ins in 1600 hands at 5/10. I'll post a graph in the next entry which will be coming very soon.

I'm also leaving for Australia in about 3 weeks.. man that's coming up quick. It's going to a very hectic next 3 weeks!

Onward

2008-01-17T20:55:00.000-08:00

Balancing a professional poker career and a real life is hard.

I find that I can do one or the other fairly well but mixing them both, in good proportions, is real tough. One of my goals this year was to do this, but already, I'm spending most of my time plugging away hands and working on my ebook.

I'm also going to bed at 5 AM and waking up at noon or 1.

I can find excuses in the fact I'm leaving March 1st for Sydney to live there for three months. There were "adult school" classes I'd wanted to do; things like beginner Improv comedy, just to get out there and be more social and push my social limits. They run into the middle of March, however, so I've avoided them completely, and concentrated on working.

I also am probably unrealistic to what most people out there actually do -- that is work all the time, which I've been doing this month.

I'm not saying I want a crazy social life of 4 dates a week and 3 nights of boozing, but I'm not content with my general schedule of working late into the night 5 days a week and getting stupid drunk twice a week.

I suppose my goal is to play poker that is similar to a normal person's schedule. Wake up by 8 or 9 and played 2000 hands (and taken care of other business) by 5pm. Then, I want to have some social activities like comedy improv to spice up a night or two, then spend another night or two with friends.

I've decided until Australia I'm just going to grind for the most part. I put a decent chunk of my money into mutual funds last week so I'm trying to get a comfy 5/10 bankroll before I head down under.

Hopefully in Australia I can hit a balanced life. I'm not sure of the exact things I could do to "get out there" but I'll have to look into it more when the time comes. I have got 3 of my friends and fellow poker professionals going with me, so I'll have a decent clique there no matter what. But I'd really like to meet some locals and develop some friends among them.

My ebook, on how to beat NLHE 6-max cash games, is coming to completion. It turned out really good IMO and is about 170 pages of information that is rarely covered in most poker books (and if it is it's not geared to the shorthanded online environment.)

I wouldn't say it's anything groundbreaking -- it's the sum of my knowledge of 3 years on 2p2, and playing over a million hands that created the book -- but for a beginner to intermediate I think there's tons of invaluable information.

Hopefully, it will be ready for download in two weeks. I don't expect it to be a big seller, since there's already so much poker stuff out there for the buyer's dollar, but even if it doesn't make me that much money, it was a great project for me to work on.

It really let me think about the game more and get back to fundamentals which we tend to forget when we've played so many hands. It's always good to analyze my instinctual actions -- why am I betting here, for what reasons, etc etc -- to make sure I'm doing everything fundamentally right.

I also enjoyed the process of writing (editing, not so much.) It's a nice break from grinding and if it becomes a source of income, that's awesome too.

Looking back at 2007 and looking forward to 2008

2008-01-02T01:03:00.000-08:00

Ah, yes, the obligatory "year in review, new year's resolutions" blog post. We all get a little reflective this time of year -- somewhat of a shame because I feel I should be analyzing what I'm doing what and what I hope to be doing much more -- but let's get on with the show.

I feel overall that 2007 was an OK year for me. I felt like saying it was a small disappointment, but in reality I made some big strides in my life and have a much clearer view of where I want to go then when I entered 2007.

At the beginning of 2007, I felt I was not happy with my life. The world of a professional poker player was bearing down on my soul. I was making good money for someone my age but spent almost all my time on the computer. I had put on 20 pounds since I started playing poker 2 years prior, and I despise being out of shape. The variance of the game was just sick and I truly didn't enjoy playing.

There was just an aura of negative energy every time I played or though about poker (which consisted of the majority of my day.) Thus, I wasn't improving very much nor was I putting in the amount of hands a professional should.

In 2007 I had the "Hermosa House." The collection of 5 solid poker players, living in a sick pad in Los Angeles, certainly had high expectations. I have mixed feeling about how things went -- our house was just SICK but I still lounged around in my house, putting in few hands and not challenigng myself by getting outside of the damn house. I did get in shape again, and I did get much better at poker despite my low volume. Being able to watch CTS and learn from him helped immensely. I was still a tight TAG but started really exploiting the button and stealing pots postflop which is a huge part of my game today.

The rest of 2007 was following the same pattern. Finally, I had enough, and I went off to Costa Rica for a month on a "learning vacation" by myself. I really think it was an eye-opening experience.

Too often I want to do something with others. I've never been much of a leader and relied on others to either motivate me, lead me, or at least make me not feel the fear of doing something alone. I truly just got sick of this attitude and didn't even bother looking for someone to come with me on a vacation I desperately needed.

More then ever I realize that if I ever want to get something done; if I want to be more social, if I want to learn new skills, if I want to get better at poker, if I want to make money off poker through business, it needs to be done by myself. I must make my own goals and challenge myself each and every day to reach them.

Costa Rica really taught me that. I had an amazing time meeting other people looking for the same thing and getting a new perspective on life and the value of a good life. The people of Costa Rica are much more laid back and care free than Americans. They do not stress at life to make ends meet the same way we do. If all your life is committed to reaching goals that truly do not make you happy, why bother?

When I had my first 30k month, I bought a 5k Brietling watch. Amazing watch. Beautiful watch. Waste of money. This was my first lesson in material things. I'm not sure if I expected this to bring a lot of joy to my life, if I thought it would add value to my life, or get me chicks. But it didn't do anything, really.

I suppose it's the byproduct of being raised in American culture, but I think I thought making money, buying cool things and having these kinds of possessions were where I had to go in life. But I got there relatively quickly, making low six-figures right out of college, and I've learned these things are meaningless. It's about adding value to my life in other ways.

I learned from the trip to Costa Rica how fun it was to learn new skills. Every day I challenged myself at Spanish and surfing and found the pleasure in pushing my mind and body to new limits that I just can't get from playing poker. Obviously, one needs to make an income and we can't just fuck around all day doing fun stuff.

For me, it was realizing this, and finding ways to combine my job with acquiring new skills and the balance of it all. It's something I'm still working on but I know, that everyday, must be a new challenge and I must face those challenges to the best of my ability.

When I go to bed at night my mind races with thoughts of all the cool things I'm going to do and where I want to go in life. Then I wake up in the morning, usually an hour later than I planned, groggy and anxious about all that I have to do. Hours go by wasted and I don't face the things that make me the most anxious. My main goal in 2008 is to give my best all day, every day. It is never easy, as I feel I am more enlightened then ever but I still realize every day is going to be a challenge against the out-dated machine that is my mind and body.

I ran across a quote by Vince Lombardi in some sports book I got from Christmas. The second I read it I felt like I'd had an epiphany about my desire, drive and lust for life.

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."

Too much of my life I've had a lack of will. I've half-assed many things in my life, doing just enough to get-by and get on to the next day. I truly have not been living for many of these years. In 2008, I want that to change.

I've rambled so much in this entry, so I'll get down to the point of where I will be going in 2008. I'm planning on traveling and living in a few different places of the world. I want to truly experience these parts of the world -- if you've read the Four-Hour Work Week, I'm aiming for that lifestyle. I want to acquire new skills in each area of the world and not be a poker playing hermit who spends 60 hours a week online.

I want to continue coaching. I like being a teacher. I like helping those out with the immense poker knowledge I've garnered over the years. I've finished the rough draft of an online NLHE 6-max cash game book which I believe to be very good. The market for poker is so saturated but there is really no good book (or ebook as this will be) that covers this end in such detail. I'll tell you more about this later.

Essentially, my life, from this point forward, will be truly about living and experiencing it. Watching TV or browsing 2p2 for hours on end is not living. Challenging my limits and my beliefs every day, regardless of how simple the act in life, is. Giving my best, day in and day out, is the only way to go.

Woohoo

2007-12-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

Hot baby, hot.

Sorry for the poor image quality, I can never figure this blogger stuff out. That's over 13 buy-ins at 5/10 NL in 2k hands.

Still Alive

2007-11-25T14:03:00.000-08:00

Not much to report on.

Still grinding 2/4 to 5/10 with the occasional fish chase at 10/20.

I spent a month in Costa Rica to relax, learn spanish, and get better at surfing. It was amazing and the country is so laid back and peaceful it's such a nice change from the "real world."

I am planning to travel much more. Probably will spend March through May in Syndey with some poker buddies, then pick another location (Buenos Aires?) to live after.

I am also getting into a poker-related business that I hope to have up and running before I leave for Sydney. I'm excited about it and it will take a lot of my time but it will be a nice change of work from grinding.

End of the Hermosa House..

2007-08-17T01:45:00.000-07:00

Our lease is up in the Hermosa House in 2 weeks, and everyone is moving on.

It's been a great experience, and has certaintly helped my game improve as the post-UIGEA games are filled with more knowledgable TAGs and LAGs. Bouncing ideas off of CTS, Slider and Dan Bright, and getting to sweat them have helped a ton. Slider, moreso in understanding how the straightforward nit plays :)

CTS is a world-class player, an incredibly smart guy, who is as much of a natural to the game of poker as you will ever see. Combining that with a sick work ethic and a devotion to improve at the game, and that's how somehow can crush the highest limits online so quickly. He would gladly talk about poker theory and answer any questions I asked, so I thank him for that. While my preflop stats aren't that different from last year, I'd like to think I am much tougher to play postflop. He's going back to the town he went to college in in Virginia, to be an absolute baller with his old college friends.

Togni was only in the house for 2 months of year, and he plays limit, so I didn't get much poker ideas from him. He's a super chill guy though, and it was fun living with him.

Me and Slider are grabbing a place in Hermosa. We're looking to live within about a hundred yards of the beach. There's a pad we're about to lock up right now. I'll be super stoked to be able to wake up and go running or surfing at the beach everyday (the Hermosa house was about 2 miles from the beach, and trust me, for a lazy poker player, that's a big barrier between sitting at home or going to the beach.)

I'm going to stick with the poker thing for a little while longer. For the beginning of this blog, I was burnt out, bitter about Neteller and my Pokes Poker money, and in an emo-mood most of the time. Now, I'm robusto thanks to table selection, a WSOP score, and generally not hating the game as much. I'm still lazy about the amount of hands I play, but hopefully I will pick this up and start putting in 40k hand months again.

I'm also going to start coaching for 3-bet.net. I'm pretty excited about this. I've always enjoyed sweating friends and sharing my knowledge about the game. I'm no prodigy, but I've played enough 6-max to have a firm grasp on how to beat the games handily.

I'll be coaching SSNL players for $100/hr, and MSNL players for $150/hr. I really feel I can lend a hand in teaching plays how to play a "tight tricky" style that is what I would describe my game as.

So much of beating 200 and 400 NL is just playing tight and solid. Just hammering that idea into your head going to win you monies.

Just a little update..

2007-07-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

Some quick things:

- I played in the Bellagio Cup WPT. I couldn't get anything going and busted in the 4th or 5th level on day 1.

Looking back, I don't really felt I made any mistakes. There were some huge variance, big-time play spots I could have made, since most everyone at the table were thinking opponents, but I passed on them.

I was also busted by Kristy Gazes, which is just irritating. She has that aura about her that she thinks she's hot shit when she's pretty average for a Bellagio WPT. She's not good, but not really terrible.

FWIW, the hand I busted on:

I have 7500 on the CO and raise Th7h to 1200 at 200/400, 50 ante. Loose open, but I was very card dead, and the blinds were not very "restealy," so I opened. Online, I would probably not raise this because the BB will push A2o over your raise.

The button (a huge stack, loose Euro, kinda tricky, but would get owned by good players,) calls, SB calls, BB (Gazes) calls.

Flop is Jh7c2d. Checked to me, I have an easy pot-sized push, folded to Gazes who asks for a count. She actually mulls it over for 30 seconds before calling with QJ. Annoying (she also had a great squeeze oppurtunity preflop given my stack size.)

- I'm back in LA and happy to be out of Vegas. I just eat bad, sleep bad, don't excersize, etc etc when I'm in that town. LA lets me have more free time and have a healtier life in a much nicer area.

- I've played a little online this past week. I've been 2-4 tabling alot, and playing 5/10 to 10/20. I have run like shit and am pretty happy to only be down a couple grand.

I've been adding alot of new "tricks" to my arsenal and my style has really evolved from my 18/14 nit days. My stats aren't that much crazier; probably 21/17; but I am much more aggressive postflop. I take alot more pots, and challenge multitabling robots constantly by forcing them to either make a hand or put all their money in with a semibluff/bluff. I use to check/fold to these guys a lot...

- August is going to be the Legends of Poker at the Bicycle Casino, LA's #2 poker room. It should be fun and I will probably be playing 5-10 events, including the WPT main event. Hopefully the cards will fall my way this time and I can hit that big score.

I have you beat

2007-07-08T04:30:00.000-07:00

I busted on Day 1 of the main event with 15 minutes left to go.

I had a big stack all day. At least 2x average stack for 90% of play. Going into the final level of the night, level 8, 400/800 blinds w/ a 100 ante, I had 120k. Average was 40k.

It starts going bad. I run JJ into AA and TT into AA against some shortstacks and am down too 75k.

Only 15 minutes left when the following hand comes up.

Danish dude opens on the hijack to 3500. He'd been tagish for the last couple levels but has really picked up his raising in this last hour of play. I presume it is to take advantage of those people tired/waiting to get into day 2.

I have KK on the button. Sweet spot, I think. It defintely can look like I'm trying to punish him for stealing so much. I make it 10.5k.

We started the hand with about 70k each.

He thinks for a minute and calls.

Flop is Jc2c9x. Not the best flop but I think I have to go broke here. He checks. I fire out like 12k. He quickly goes all in.

He went all in real quickly, which scares me because I think he thinks it over with QQ, AJ type hands. But I figure the odds of 2:1 or whatever I'm getting are just too good too pass up given the Day 2 bubble situation, dynamics of the hand, etc etc.

I do say, "this is sick how lucky you got," during this point, because he can easily have a set, but I realize I am being foolhardy and this is just one of those spots.

As I'm literally about to mouth the words, "I call," he says, "I have you beat."

Fuck.

I can't believe he said that. Did he really just take what was a certain call for me and fuck it up?

It's a personal policy of me to ignore all table talk like this and go with other reads, mainly table dynamics and betting patterns, which indicate a call. But this sentence made me sick. It confused the hell outta me, but made me sick, because I felt this just meant he had a big one.

I stood up. It felt surreal. I couldn't believe he could fuck up a certain double up for him by trying to be some clever Jamie Gold wannabe Danish fuck fagit euro fag fuck.

In the end I just couldn't do it. I knew I could mull over it for 10 minutes, replaying the fact there is a 100% call given the situation minus his comment. But I knew I would come to the same conclusion, that this is a call, because I just am not that experienced or good enough to let a comment like that be the main factor in making the biggest laydown of my life.

So, I called. He starts screaming "yes yes yes!" and I am resigned to my 2 outs versus his JJ. He calls his friends over. He screams no king. This annoys me because it feels like I've been punched in the stomach.

Someone being loud like this garners alot of attention and alot of people come over to watch. I just want the last two cards dealt so I can go either blackjack my life away, drink my life away, or both.

The turn and river blank and I just leave as quick as I can (he covered me by 2k.)

I felt so bothered on the trip back to the hotel. It just upset me so much that he gave me a chance to get away and I knew I was not at that kind of level to ever do it.

I just hope he doesn't think that comment baited me into a call. Him having that kind of satisfaction in his head drives me nuts.

I also hope he is run over by a bus on his way back to his hotel.

The Main Event

2007-07-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again -- when I get pumped for the biggest poker tournament in the world, having the chance to win millions of dollars and instant fame while navigating through a field full of old man nits, laggy European pros, and tight aggressive internet kids.

I've played the Main Event the past 2 years, and both times busted before the dinner break. I still haven't even made it to level 4 (when the antes first kick in.)

This year my strategy is to play conservative, see cheap flops and avoid any bluffs until the antes kick in, then I will start opening up my game and picking up as many pots as I can.

The last 2 years I've played by qualifying online. I'm not really even rolled for shot-taking a $10k tournament but am getting staked for this one, as being a good poker player in the main event=a huge ROI.

I feel my tourney game is just sick good right now. I have been playing a lot of them online and have really fine-tuned my ability to pick the right spots, being aggressive at the right time and conservative at the right time. I was very comfortable playing live in the earlier WSOP events I played this year and also had the nice confident boost of the 7th place finish in event #12.

I am also getting pretty damn good at coinflips, although my ability to suck-out with smaller pairs versus overpairs is not that great.

One time dealer...

Update

2007-06-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

I had pretty much gave up on this blog, but I guess I've been feeling pretty emo lately, so I might as well make a post. I stopped posting when I started running good again.. I suppose some people like to write more about when they're winning, but I like posting when I'm down.

Though, truth be told, I'm not a downswing right now. A few weeks ago I got 7th in Event 12 at the WSOP for $46k and some change. The event was a $1500 buy-in, 6-handed tournament, so I actually bubbled the final table. I played the best I could for those two days, despite being extremely sick at the end of day 2.

I may make a trip report of it eventually, but that's not what I feel like writing about right now.

I stumbled across the blog of the guy who ended up taking 2nd in the event. He's a pretty good writer and reading his experience made me insanely jealous of missing out on the final table. To get so close yet not make it hurts a little. At first, it didn't really bug me; I was resigned to my fate as 7th out of 7 left and was satisfied to make $46k.

Weeks later, it's finally starting to bug me. Maybe after playing a few more WSOP events, I realize again how incredibly fucking hard it is to get that far.

Tournaments are such a silly beast. I also final tabled the FTOPS $1k event in late May, and managed to bust in 9th on the first hand, w/ QQ vs 88. I won $15k. First was $209k.

So.. I feel like I could be incredibly rich right now with just a little more luck on my side. I look at things honestly though, and realize I still have a shitload of money after these past couple months and I'm probably nearing $100k for the year already.

I live in a nice part of LA. 2 miles from the beach. It's fucking 75 and sunny everyday. I have a nice car, and cool things.

Yet I still spend most of my time in front of this fucking computer. I even managed to get "billyjex" permabanned on 2p2, thinking it'd help get me doing more stuff. But I just made a 2nd account and have been posting a lot.

I don't even play that many hands a month, either. Maybe 30k. Partly that is because I table select very carefully; I will never play at a table without at least one obvious fish. Partly it is because I am lazy and can seemingly spend hours doing absolutely nothing.

I guess what I'm implying is that if I just stopped being so fucking lazy and got more active I'd feel more satisfied. But then.. I don't know. Playing poker for a living, making good money for my age, and hanging out by the beach seems like a pretty good damn life, but I feel like something is missing. I don't really know what that is, but I'm not satisfied.

Sometimes I feel regret for fucking around so much in high school and college. Not getting a real education from a real school and doing something meaningful.

I don't know if poker has really been a great thing for me. It's given me money to subsist too easy, it's given me a way to support myself by sitting on my ass at home. I don't challenge myself or socialize myself very much.

I have to be realistic though. Without poker, I had a major I did not enjoy and did not give a shit to excel at. I would probably be dead broke, working for $30k a year at some fuckstick newspaper in some fuckstick town.

I just turned 25, and that makes me a little sad. I feel old now. I feel like I've gotten such little life experience to this point, and I'm not doing anything right now to change that.

I have some money. I can certaintly take 6 months off and still come back to the real world with 6 months living expenses and a bankroll for 10/20 NL live or 5/10 online. I have begun to think about doing something to change my perspectives on life. Habitat for humanity? Traveling Europe? I need to do something. I can't imagine appreciating what I have now continuing to do everything the same.

Neteller is making me consider suicide

2007-03-15T16:15:00.000-07:00

I just talked to Russ Fox, 2p2 CPA extradonaire who is usually referred to when people ask for a poker-knowledgeable CPA. The word I got from him was pretty goddamn bad and I am to the point of majorly fucked.

The money I have in Neteller is 100% taxable. The money I have in Pokes, is even borderline as to whether I have to pay taxes. And if I were to ever lose this money? You'd be lucky to get pennies on the dollar by some sort of "loss claim." It wouldn't be much different then if I told the IRS tomorrow that I had $44k stolen from a safe in my room.

I just am straight up broke without being able to access any of that $44,000.

I'm sure there are those who will tell me to undereport, or not report alot of my earnings, but given the fact the DOJ has all of our Neteller records, it's pretty likely that won't work out too well.

Oh, and just to further prove God fucking hates me, the DOJ is going to ask for a SECOND MOTHERFUCKING CONTINUANCE BEFORE THEY FORMERLY MAKE THEIR CASE AGAINST NETELLER

http://www.gambling911.com/NETeller-Continuance-031507.html

HHYCHAYCHAYCHAYHCAYHCAYCAHA

This has to be granted by the court, but, nothing will ever go right in this situation so I'm just going to fucking drink myself until I am numb.

6 months ago I could never have imagined my finances would be this bad. Paying rent and bills will be a fucking stretch. I am barely rolled for 1/2 NL. I'm like a regular person. FUCK.

I voted myself off the Island

2007-03-09T09:33:00.001-08:00

I’ve banned myself from 2p2 for a few weeks. I feel 2p2 is a cancer to any sort of productiveness I have in my body, which isn’t much to begin with. It’s amazing how much time I’ve wasted on those forums, usually consisting of me refreshing BBV and MSNL mindlessly.

I’d love to be able to read 2p2 just for the strategy and legislation posts. This just can’t work though, because I’ll wonder off to the off-topic forums (or off-topic posts in the strategy forums). Before I know it, I’ve been awake for 3 hours and done absolutely nothing. This can range from putting off errands, the gym, or a poker session. It’s just so easy to get lost in the pointless world of poker gossip and winrate bragging.

I’m going to heading on a cruise in a couple weeks. I also have some buddies from college, who are on spring break, coming to check out the Hermosa house next week. Given that I’ll be spending more than a few nights in a drunken stupor, followed by a few days in a hangover haze, I want to not have the distraction of 2p2 as I attempt to actually put in some hours playing poker before the partying begins. I also need to man up and take care of my taxes, which I’ve been putting off given everything that’s been going on with poker.

I’m on my third day of being banned, and it’s kinda funny how I still load up 2p2 multiple times a day. It’s become such a force of habit that I unconsciously check up on 2p2 whenever I’m even slightly bored.

I can already tell it’s making a difference, though. Now, whenever I’m slightly bored, I’m forced to actually do something, especially since the rest of the internet gets boring real quick. I’ve been plugging away 2k to 3k hand days at 1/2 NL as I look to experience some low variance as I rebuild my online roll.

Hi

2007-03-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

Neteller is making me an alcoholic.

EVERYBODY'S SCREAMING

2007-03-06T02:35:00.001-08:00

I am within a whisper of kissing busto on the lips. Most of you fucks have no idea what it's like to have $44,000 to have withtaken from you. Poker is destroying my very soul. I fucking hate it.

Lucky for me I will never live a life of mediocrity. Goddamnit, fuck all these taboo's about living life. I simply do not accept what life is to me now. Do I pursue money? Not really. Do I pursue power? Not really. Do I pursue being stable? Maybe. But I realize being stable will not equal excellence.

I reiterate, I can't accept mediocirty. I may be lazy. I am extremely procrastinic. But I am 24. I may never win at poker again. I may not be able to pay my credit call bill in 3 months.

But goddamnit, In due time, I will be rich. I will be rich with money, . I will be rich with intelligence, and most importantly,. I will be rich with friends and family, because that's what I really give a fuck about.

It's only a matter of time before I'm all live..

2007-03-01T02:19:00.000-08:00

My results for live play in February were terrible. I played 5 tournaments, and didn’t cash, and I dropped about $8,000 playing live cash games. I ran pretty bad, no doubt, but I also made multiple mistakes per session that a player with my experience shouldn’t be making.

Of course, I say experience, when in reality I do not have that much table time playing live cash games. I played quite a bit this past summer during the WSOP, at 5/10. I played mostly at the Rio, sometimes the Bellagio or the Wynn, and the games were absolutely amazing. I also ran pretty well and made some good money; however, I quickly dumped this cash right back into WSOP tournaments I was severely underrolled for and didn’t have a cash worth anything (again.. why do I play so many donkaments?)

I’ve analyzed my live game this past week to try to plug some leaks. It should be noted that my online game has become much, much more aggressive than before; I’m not a LAG or anything, but I have a few more moves postflop, and 3-bet and 4-bet a little lighter preflop. I feel I was bringing too much of this style to a live game.

I feel this style is bad for a live game because people are generally willing to put money in preflop with almost anything; then, once the pot is big, they won’t fold anything half decent. I kept getting into trouble 3-betting a hand like 87s against someone who will actually play correctly and felt a hand like KTo that flops a pair. I also have begun to realize, that at least up to the 10/20 NL at Commerce, you don’t really need to worry about metagame. If I don’t raise a hand for 4 hours, then 3-bet an UTG raiser, no one will give a shit and they will still call with KQ even though it’s pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that I have JJ+, AK.

Basically, I’m adjusting my preflop style to be more passive.

Postflop, I need to up the aggression in the right spots by double-barreling nits and those playing with scared money. I don’t try to steal pots enough on the river when I miss my straight draw and the flush hits, for example. Flushes that get there are great scare cards to steal a pot away from a live grinder.

I have been a poor value-better. A lot of these people will call down with anything, especially if you price it right. I, for some reason, always fear something like a river check/raise bluff, which almost never happens live.

Perhaps my biggest leak has been trying to pick off big bets that I believe are bluffs. Making hero calls. Thinking everyone is bluffing me. When it comes to putting large amounts of money in the pot, I need to be the aggressor. I simply need to “nit it up” when shown aggression from the average live game player.

Hopefully, by patching some of these leaks, I can start showing the live results I had in the summer. In a lot of ways, I need to readjust to the players by playing a basic ABC TAG style that I had moved away from online because that style was becoming exploitable.

Boring

2007-02-27T18:43:00.001-08:00

I don’t really remember making the last post. I had just gotten back from the bars and drank the only thing available in our house, Rockstar and Vodka, and probably nearly gave myself a heart attack after downing three of those. Good times.

I’ve been giving consideration today to why I hate poker so much. I’ve also been able to admit to myself that my work ethic is terrible and I’ve become a lazy poker pro. These two go hand-in-hand.

I used to put in solid hands. I’m talking about 60k hands per month, with an average of 4-6 tables running, which is a solid amount of hours.

However, back then, I used to make solid money. I also would keep moving up and keeping it challenging and fresh.

It all started to change once Bill Frist came into my life. Pretty much immediately following the passing of the UIGEA I lost motivation to grind long hours. This is ironic as this should have been a time I was putting in the most amount of hands possible before the games started drying up. It just took a lot out of me knowing what I had was going to be gone.

I have not even got a fraction of that motivation back. It doesn’t help I haven’t made much money since then. Again, you’d think this would be more motivation to put in hands. It’s just the way I work, I guess, that when things start going bad, I start to get unmotivated and cowardly towards pushing through the rough stretches.

I am frustrated because I don’t know how to get this motivation back. Despite the fact my cash flow is severely limited, I still don’t get the drive and desire to put in 4k hand days.

I think I become complacent with putting in 25k hand months while waiting for that big tournament score that would allow me to do nothing for awhile. That never came.

I see guys like CTS who are absolute machines when it comes to putting in hands. He wakes up and starts playing. He doesn’t stop until he’s too tired to keep punishing tagfish into oblivion.

It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if I used my free time on active pursuits or other business opportunities. Spending my free time playing Wii and refreshing BBV is a complete waste.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I have also admitted to myself that my live, full-ring NL game, as well as my live tournament game, isn’t nearly as good as I thought it was. I’ll delve more into this tomorrow, I think, as I’d like to spend a good amount talking about it to help myself understand my leaks.

lalalala

2007-02-25T04:13:00.001-08:00

my heart feels frustrated

Sad

2007-02-22T08:55:00.001-08:00

I’m actually up at the ungodly hour of 8:30 AM. I can’t sleep despite being beyond tired. The kind of tired where you feel like your eyelids are 20 pounds, and the kind of tired where you know if you don’t sleep soon you are going to be a zombie all day. This is all because I feel like I’m having a nightmare as my mind tries to comprehend what Neteller and my government are doing to me.

Saying a “nightmare” is not some sort of artistic exaggeration. About 5 minutes ago I literally felt like vomiting as I compiled the amount of money I will have, after I pay taxes, with 33k stuck in Neteller, and 11.5k forever gone in a Poker Room skin. I am so frustrated with all of us I just want to scream and fucking break something.

I realize that most likely I can write off the “debt” owed to me so I can pay taxes when I can actually handle the money. Either way, once taxes are paid, and my bills are paid.. I will have dipped far into my bankroll and, after putting away 6 months of living expesnses, my bankroll will be the smallest it’s been in nearly a year.

Life is fucking tough sometimes. I never expected there to be any sort of risk of ruin when it came to poker; especially not this soon, and not without some kind of high-limit tiltfest. If it’s possible I don’t see my Neteller money for years; if it’s possible I never see it, my finances will be absolutely crushed. I will be grinding along, on a string, for a very long time. This makes me so fucking angry and so fucking sad because I never pursued poker to live like this.

The online games are just fucking terrible lately. So I go the casino and play 8 hours straight against a huge fish, miss every draw against him, and suddenly find myself down a buy-in. I’ve only played about 40 hours of live poker this month, but my hourly rate is over -$200. That fucking hurts when you’re playing live.

I try not to think about this but it is reality and it is painful to comprehend and accept.

LOLO SPIKED U

2007-02-20T02:43:00.001-08:00

It’s been a little over one month since I moved into the “Hermosa House.” For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a pretty sick house, 2 miles from the beach in southwest Los Angeles, filled with five poker pros, all 2+2 namesakes.

I’m living with CTS, the NL god, Toghni, high-stakes limit player, Dan Bright, who plays the same limits as me and plays his guitar too loud, and Slider, my Vegas roommate and drunk monkey.

Hermosa is a very cool area. The other day was the first real LA day we had since we moved in; it was eighty degrees and sunny. Me, Slider, and Stinkypete (limit pro and Finnish flamer) went down to the beach to play some beach football, and later joined up with some guys who were playing beach volleyball for a little game. It was a blast and reminded me of the main reason I moved out here; to get outside and enjoy the better things in life!

A beach is a very beautiful thing. It’s very serene and calming as the waves crash onto the beach, with a cool breeze and the soft sand at your feet. The scores of bikini babes roaming the beach and boardwalk are even more beautiful than the ocean.

From what I’ve heard from locals, this place just gets crazy in the summer. It was pretty packed last Saturday, but that’s probably only 1/3rd or 1/4th the crowd of an average summer day.

I’ve spent way too much of the last couple years in front of my computer playing poker and reading 2p2. It feels so good to get out there and get active. I can already feel like living in this area will lead to a much healthier life, which is what I’ve been searching for.

I’m trying to round up the guys to go skydiving soon; I’m really interested in doing as many new things as possible this coming year, while I’m still young and have no responsibilities.

Everyone is getting along well. We’re a little lazy keeping the house clean but the maids that come once a week usually do a pretty damn good job.

I got a Nintendo Wii off some random dude on Craig’s List. I paid $50 above retail price but it was totally worth it. Wii Sports rules. F-Zero on the virtual console is the absolute best racing game ever. I spent so much time on that game as a kid and despite the lack of a 2-player mode, it’s one of the most enjoyable racing games I’ve ever played.

Unfortunately, I already put in so few hours playing poker, the Wii is only going to hurt my poker output. I guess I’ll worry about that once I’m really almusto J

There haven’t been any real crazy happenings yet; some interesting things have happened, but I’ll save those stories for another time.

The main game, plus some interesting/bizarre hands

2007-02-16T00:35:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed the lack of "I'm about to jump off a bridge" posts in the last few days. I'm actually running good! While donkaments are still a drain on my bankroll (WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP PLAYING THEM?), I have done well at Stars 2/4 as well as running up $200 at a 5/10 PLO table to $3k in 60 hands.

--------------------

My main game lately has been Stars 2/4. It was my bread and butter in 2006, and was a great source of consistent cash for me. Somewhere along when Bill Frist become a prominent figure in my life, I lost a lot of drive to multitable long hours and stopped playing the game. I'd occasionally sit down, but would be frustrated at the toughness of my tables and generally accepted poker was dead.

I decided to pick the game back up lately, and have done fairly well, running at over 6 PT BB/100 at nearly 20k hands. It has been extremely swingy, however, as evidenced below.

The game is filled with 90% TAG's, though many of them are rather poor or average. There are also quite a few very good regulars; I find that nearly everyone I recognize from 2p2 is a good player, while many of the TAGs that I don't recognize are pretty bad. Though not nearly as bad as the abundance of fish I used to play with, they are exploitable, and usually their biggest fault is not being able to adjust correctly to an aggressive TAG who can read a hand or two.

Unfortunately, these games are only going to get worse. These bad TAGs will keep losing, and eventually it won't be worth it to play on Stars anymore. I suppose I will be making more regular trips to Commerce by then..

---------------------------

I've played quite a few interesting hands lately. I've made some weird calldowns. I am actually somewhat obsessed with making big calldowns; I like picking off people in a big bluff. I generally have to control myself from making absurd calls with ace high, that I recognize are -EV, but the thrill of picking someone off tempts me to hitting call.

Anyways, here are some of the more interesting hands I've played. Some of them I'll gladly admit I misplayed; also, some of them probably look pretty bad but the table conditions allowed for it at the time.

This hand was vs. Technologic, best known for final tabling the WSOP ME in 2006. Lucky fuck! Much jealously there. We'd played quite a bit lately, and he liked to stand up to me when I raised in late position. Right when the ace hit, I decide to bet fast, bet big, and call an all-in; I just felt in the metagame of it all he didn't think I'd play a big hand specifically like this.

Once I bet a got a little bit of doubt, as evidenced by my douchey table chat (I can't help myself from typing in the chat when making a "big" decision.) I knew I had to go with my read here, though, and I was right!

Table 'Brita II' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: Unsyatisfied ($730.20 in chips)
Seat 3: billyjex ($662.40 in chips)
Seat 4: newparadise ($1172.70 in chips)
Seat 5: technologic ($404.55 in chips)
Seat 6: seank40 ($74 in chips)
newparadise: posts small blind $2
technologic: posts big blind $4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to billyjex [9h 9c]
seank40: folds
Unsyatisfied: folds
billyjex: raises $12 to $16
newparadise: folds
technologic: calls $12
*** FLOP *** [3h Qs 6s]
technologic: checks
billyjex: bets $24
technologic: calls $24
*** TURN *** [3h Qs 6s] [Ac]
technologic: checks
billyjex: bets $75
technologic: raises $289.55 to $364.55 and is all-in
billyjex said, "lol"
billyjex said, "dude"
billyjex said, "****"
billyjex said, "i actualyl might have to call here"
billyjex said, "i dont have an ace btw"
billyjex: calls $289.55
*** RIVER *** [3h Qs 6s Ac] [5c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
technologic: shows [7c 6c] (a pair of Sixes)
billyjex: shows [9h 9c] (a pair of Nines)
billyjex collected $809.10 from pot

I was so close to folding this set. I ran my timer down but decided this is just a spot I had to go with it.

I can't show it here, but his timing just screamed "THE NUTZ!" to me. He waited a good 8-10 seconds before check minraising the turn. I have found a long pause followed by a check minraise to be a HUGE hand. An insta mincheckraise is much different, and usually a feeler raise or a bluff to pick off the aggressive player.

I went with the set, and got lucky. It's nice to run good in these spots.

Table 'Neckar V' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: Trop Poker ($552.70 in chips)
Seat 3: billyjex ($446.35 in chips)
Seat 4: JvT78 ($151 in chips)
Seat 5: pumpmaster ($384 in chips)
Seat 6: oyvindgee ($707.90 in chips)
JvT78: posts small blind $2
pumpmaster: posts big blind $4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to billyjex [9c 9h]
oyvindgee: folds
Trop Poker: folds
billyjex: raises $12 to $16
JvT78: folds
pumpmaster: calls $12
*** FLOP *** [Kh Ts 9s]
pumpmaster: checks
billyjex: bets $28
pumpmaster: calls $28
*** TURN *** [Kh Ts 9s] [2d]
pumpmaster: checks
billyjex: bets $80
pumpmaster: raises $80 to $160
billyjex: raises $242.35 to $402.35 and is all-in
pumpmaster: calls $180 and is all-in
*** RIVER *** [Kh Ts 9s 2d] [Ks]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
pumpmaster: shows [Qc Jd] (a straight, Nine to King)
billyjex: shows [9c 9h] (a full house, Nines full of Kings)
Senor Rio joins the table at seat #2
billyjex collected $768 from pot

This hand was pretty bizarre. Villian is absolutely terribe regular, who plays a 30/20 style that basically means he will never fold anything to you, ever. My play here is pretty poor, IMO, and I should just check/call and try to hit. However I felt the flop was dry enough to take a shot; looking back at it, I realize this donkey dick won't fold overcards here. The turn was a frustrated attempt to check/raise this fuck because again, I felt he had nothing.

Then he called. Fuck. He has $41 left in a $900 pot. I want to know what the fuck he has, so I just shove it in since I would call a push from him. And.. he FOLDED! Probably had the same hand. Ship it bitch.

Table 'Orion V' 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Nicklas_888 ($609.10 in chips)
Seat 2: glory2god ($493.15 in chips)
Seat 3: billyjex ($745.40 in chips)
Seat 6: Mooshoo ($506 in chips)
billyjex: posts small blind $2
Mooshoo: posts big blind $4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to billyjex [6d 5d]
Nicklas_888: folds
glory2god: raises $8 to $12
billyjex: calls $10
ninekostars has returned
Mooshoo: folds
*** FLOP *** [8h 3d 4c]
billyjex: checks
glory2god: bets $24
billyjex: raises $48 to $72
glory2god: calls $48
*** TURN *** [8h 3d 4c] [Ks]
billyjex: checks
glory2god: bets $108
billyjex: raises $260 to $368
glory2god: calls $260
*** RIVER *** [8h 3d 4c Ks] [4h]
billyjex: bets $52
glory2god: folds
billyjex collected $906 from pot
billyjex: shows [6d 5d] (a pair of Fours)

OBV have to show to tilt him.

This hand was pretty weird. I was on tilt when it occured and wouldn't have called down otherwise. I ran my timer down on the turn, and just felt this guy was full of shit. However, it's still a bad play because the turn card was pretty bad for this TAG's calling range preflop and floating range. (I am not worried he has an ace by the turn. I think he checks that behind on the turn.)

Whatever, fuck it, I said. Generally a solid, +EV approach.

Seat 1: dayninja ($396 in chips)
Seat 2: waterfall47 ($115.05 in chips)
Seat 3: nanonoko ($400 in chips)
Seat 4: simmsux ($716.60 in chips)
Seat 5: danpalumbo12 ($305.50 in chips)
Seat 6: billyjex ($390 in chips)
billyjex: posts small blind $2
dayninja: posts big blind $4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to billyjex [Jh Jc]
waterfall47: raises $4 to $8
nanonoko: folds
simmsux: calls $8
danpalumbo12: calls $8
billyjex: raises $37 to $45
dayninja: folds
waterfall47: folds
simmsux: calls $37
danpalumbo12: folds
*** FLOP *** [Th Ah 4c]
billyjex: bets $75
simmsux: calls $75
*** TURN *** [Th Ah 4c] [Ts]
billyjex: checks
simmsux: bets $144
billyjex: calls $144
*** RIVER *** [Th Ah 4c Ts] [Ad]
billyjex: checks
simmsux: bets $176
billyjex: calls $126 and is all-in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
simmsux: shows [8s 8d] (two pair, Aces and Tens)
billyjex: shows [Jh Jc] (two pair, Aces and Jacks)
billyjex collected $797 from pot

Alright.. I need to start saving these hands when they occur. They are a pain to look up. I was also planning to post some hands where I play like a complete donkey, or big calls that were big losers. But I'm feeling lazy.

Peace.

It won't stop cause it can't stop

2007-02-12T20:21:00.001-08:00

I can’t even really describe the way poker is treating me. I could write an essay about the sickest shit I am seeing day in and day out as I play. Cash games or tournaments, I lose everyday and it is sickening.

No, I am not playing perfect. But fuck me, can my hand just hold up if I ever manage to actually get a good hand versus someone’s else’s good hand?

No one likes to hear someone moan about how bad someone else is running. You never really understand a downswing unless you are currently in one.

I know whenever someone is running bad and I am running good, I generally look at them and figure they are playing bad as well. There’s almost no point to writing shit like this.

All I want to say is, this fucking sucks. Real bad. I am jaded, I am burnt out, I am frustrated and beaten down.

I will leave this journal with, what I feel, is an example of how the game has changed for me.

I was playing a Hustler 5/10 game last weekend. The big fish had left, and we were playing 4-handed. It was almost sunrise and the other players began to rack up, but we played one last hand.

Eventually, me and another player were all in preflop for a $2k pot. I had AK and he had QQ. Losing this really is not a huge deal; it’s a fucking coinflip. But already my stomach sinks and I feel anxious.

The flop comes K T 9. I should be happy that I am a 75% favorite to win a pretty big pot, right?

That’s not how I feel. The knot in my stomach grows larger and I feel sick. I cannot but help to feel I am losing this pot.

2 years ago, if I was in such a pot, I would be excited and thrilled at unfolding of the hand. To have a big hand with so much money on the line seemed cool and fun.

That feeling is completely gone. I am jaded. I am burnt out. Fuck this shit.

The J river sealed another losing day for me.

The State of Playing Poker for a Living

2007-02-09T15:34:00.000-08:00

My friends, and some others around me, have pointed out I’m a little depressed lately. I look a little more doom and gloom, a little more “my puppy just died” expressions.

This is mostly a cause of the recent Neteller debacle, and the uncertainty of my future. I feel so nervous and confused sometimes about what the hell is going on, I am not having that much fun in life lately.

Here’s the gist of my situation, especially since Neteller has left; Since November, I have made probably $10k total. This was after averaging $20k per month in my five months post-graduation. Poker has been extrememly rough, and extremely high variance for me. I’ve had at least 4 $10k downswings in this time (usually as a product of cash games, SNG’s, and MTT’s. A mix of limits as well.) This alone has left a knot in my stomach often.

The doubt I will ever win again, added onto the fact that I have $33k in Neteller, which I do not know if I will see within the next year (and perhaps a very small chance I will never see again. If that happened, I would most likely become an alcoholic and cry myself to sleep every night.)

Let’s not forget the $11.5k I have in Pokes Poker, a poker room skin that is completely fucking me and a few others out of their money. There’s been threads on this on 2p2, but you most likely haven’t noticed if you aren’t involved with it. Basically, it seems as if there is no money to pay us, as some fuckstick spent all their capital on development, and then Bill Frist decided an internet gambling ban was imperative to protecting Boston Harbor from a terrorist attack.

Oh, and I recently purchased a $20k car in November, when things were a little brighter. Also, I moved into the Hermosa House w/ 4 other 2p2ers, which is pretty expensive, to find out 3 days after moving in Neteller was withdrawing 6 months before I had figured they would.

All these factors, I feel at certain times of the day, are killing me inside. I’ve always been a little more high stress and high anxiety than the average person, so lately I can’t help but wear my emotions on my sleeve.

The uncertainly is stressful, but I will admit, on occasion, I know that I’m not broke, and I can at least support myself playing 5/10 NL live.. until I figure this life thing out.

Bring it on, bitch.

2007-02-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

While stumbling across the super highway of useless information, I stumbled back across my blog which I managed to maintain for 3 months of poker dribble, complaining of bad beats and my tilt problems. Ironically, one year later, graduated from college, and being a full-time pro, nothing has changed. Well, except for the fact online poker is essentially dead and the money I expected to make this year will be cut up to 3/4ths since I have to become a live pro. I originally mistyped live pro, “life pro,” something in which I am far from.

I’ve felt like bringing this blog back since I need to put these musings in my head onto paper, and since my roommates can only stand me saying “I hate poker” so much, I need others to hear my words.

I’ve been in the real world for about 7 months now, and as a whole, it sucks a lot harder than college. Perhaps it’s the realization that despite making low six figures last year, I am small potatoes in the game of life. Perhaps it’s the realization that all anyone ever does is work in the real world, and the majority of them dislike their existence, clinging on to false hopes that one day they won’t have bills or will find their “true love.” Perhaps it’s the fact every time I tell a woman I play poker professionally she looks at me with a sense of disappointed curiosity.

I’m not sure if disappointed curiosity makes much sense, either. Fuck.

While it sounds like I’m some kind of depressed, cynical bastard, that isn’t really true. If you ever met me, I’d be a pretty friendly guy, and I generally enjoy the company of most people. Basically, it’s this nice guy coming to terms with the shittiness of the real world that creates a cynical, pessimistic writer.

Enjoy!